“I have never talked about this in my life before. So this is hard. I was sexually abused as a child by my neighbour. After it went on for about a month, I started avoiding them by either being in my room when they came or stopped going to their home.
Now 25 years later, I noticed that all of a sudden, my 6 years old daughter has been avoiding our next door neighbour whereas she used to play with their son quite a bit. Maybe I am being paranoid, but how can I know for sure if it’s happening or not? What should I do?”
Thank you for this question and it is probably the most important question I will answer in my life. I hope it’s really not happening but regardless, it is ALWAYS the right time to talk to your child about good touch/bad touch. As you would know, that child sexual abuse is a scarring/traumatic experience that stays with you for life and impacts psychologically as well as physiologically in so many different ways.
The work of a Trauma expert now suggests that diseases such as cancer, rheumatoid arthritis, multiple sclerosis and other autoimmune conditions happen due to trauma and other emotions that are buried deep inside. When we put a lid on them and not express them or express them in inappropriate ways, they will come out in forms that are ugly.
So my suggestion is – please talk to your daughter right away if someone is touching her in ways that make her uncomfortable. Teach her that if it ever happens she can come to you anytime and talk about it.
Rather than having young children join a #MeToo movement 20 years later, let’s teach them to #YellForHelp right at the time when it is happening. We will save the next gen from a whole host of mental and physical issues later on!