My boyfriend and I are classmates in grade 12. We often go to movies, dinners and other activities on our own. I feel we are good together. Now, he wants us to do a weekend getaway. He has promised me that he will not even touch me and the trip will be purely for simple harmless fun. He is a great guy and I know he does not lie.
But somehow he does not want my parents to know that we are going on a weekend getaway and I am not ok going out with him lying to my parents. I don’t want to disappoint him – and am confused and unhappy. What shall I do?
Sometimes, our love and affection can make us see things that are not. Or other times our brain refuses to acknowledge things that are there in plain sight. Think about this – he is asking you to deceive your parents and lie to them. Would honest people do that?
The other thing is that it seems it is against your ethics to lie or betray your parents’ trust. As it should be. My suggestion would be that you take a stand before him that you won’t be okay lying to your parents.
It will also send out a message that you are not a pushover and perhaps he will have some real respect for you.
Secondly, if it is all ‘harmless fun’ why does he not want your parents to know? And it’s completely another topic if at this young age you are ready for developing a more physically intimate relationship. I understand the emotional need for male companionship, but I would say focus on finishing school with good grades for now and these things are conversations for later.
Sasha Shruti Varma is one of the leading Psychotherapists in India. She is a licensed practitioner in India and the UK registered with the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists. As a practitioner of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, she likes to combine the principles of Yogic Philosophy in her psychotherapy work. Sasha is also a leading Trainer and Coach for Emotional Intelligence in the corporate world.
If you have a question for her please write to us on firstname.lastname@example.org.