Adoption, Things that nobody tells you about adoption

Bringing a new member into your family is always an occasion for celebration, especially if it is the adoption of a child. There is no greater joy in the world than bringing home a child, giving them love and care, and slowly watching them grow into beautiful human beings. Yes, we are talking about adoption.

Unfortunately, no matter how many books you read, or how many people you interact with, the entire process of adoption does not necessarily follow a plan. Sometimes the process can be easy and effortless, but it can also be tiring, especially the legal aspect of it.

On that note, let’s take a look at some of the reality of adoption:

  1. It can take years. Yes, the entire legal process of adopting a child can take years, especially if it is an international adoption. In fact, adopting a child from another country, approximately takes three years. First you have to be matched with your child, fill out legal documents, baby proof your home before you can even think about bringing your baby home.
  1. You can go about the entire adoption process in two ways. You can either turn to a lawyer or you can adopt through an agency directly. Although getting an adoption lawyer is easier and makes the process a little personal, there is nothing wrong with going through an adoption agency either. However, be sure to check the adoption laws in your country before starting out.
  1. Yes, it will always affect the children. Most behavioral analysts say that you should always come clean to your baby once they grow up, and no matter how gently you do it, it is going to affect them. They will be curious about their birth parents, and that is natural. At some point, if you feel the emotional scars of not carrying your baby yourself, then do not chide yourself about it. It is completely natural, and if needed, you should seek family counseling.
  1. Unfortunately, there also happens to be a large number of scam adoption agencies and “brokers”. To avoid getting cheated, it is best to do things along the legal lines, and always make sure to get help from adoption lawyers and adoption agencies that have legal licenses and are registered.
  1. People will ask you a lot of personal questions, and while some may be genuinely curious and want to get to know your child, it is not uncommon to come across people who will come across as rude and unhelpful. Honestly, if you feel like they are crossing their boundaries, then feel free to cut them off from your lives because your baby is your priority, and they do not deserve to grow up among such negativity.
  1. Under no circumstances should you go through with the adoption if you are not 200% sure of it. Yes, your child may grow up to be good or bad, but at the end of the day, you are their parents and you have a responsibility towards them.
  1. Be patient. Not only is this entire process difficult for you, but it is equally so for your child. As they grow up, teach them about their culture, and respect their places and culture of origin. If they want to learn more about it, then help them out. It makes the emotional alienation less harsh.

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