Have you ever thought of what better gift you can offer to a young boy or girl stepping into adolescence? Give them a golden dream and set a real goal for their life. There is none better a thing you can give to them. No amount of wealth or money could weigh more in the balance. Make them clear themselves about their ambitions and aspirations in life. Many of them probably never think seriously about their future and how they would look like in the mirror 20 years ahead. Setting goals could make all the difference in how happy and successful they could be later when the life blooms. We must take pains to find out what are their aptitudes and interests before we help them to actuate their aspirations.
Positive Psychology experts teach us that the brain is a goal-seeking organism. Whatever goal you put up to our subconscious mind, it will work relentlessly day and night to take you to its ultimate fulfillment. Before we can achieve anything in life, we have to know precisely what we dream. We have to decide that whatever we are doing now is important to us and that it is worth doing. Are our actions rightly oriented towards meaningful goals?.We need to check.
Educate the youth. If they are passionate about really living out their purpose, they will be more likely to commit and set powerful goals. So let them focus on what they really want to accomplish and it will make the journey that much smoother.
A dream for example
Let us take an example. The youth you are talking to may be selecting a career to become a pilot. Your job then is to pack this as a dream and put that before him to focus in the course of his life. The moment you put a real dream before that person he/she can then onwards work full force to realize that dream. In the process they may have to make many sacrifices and face difficulties. They may have to devote more time for studies and cut on the time which otherwise they would have spent for sports or social activities entertainment etc. They make good resolutions realizing that they have to make short-term losses and sacrifices for long-term benefits. What is now paramount is keeping the future in view.
The modern cyber world present too many distractions and the youngsters are naturally lured into this magic world. There is a tendency all around even among elders for instant gratification and fun. The young and the old are equally impatient to receive the gratification pronto without waiting. Often we therefore become oblivious to a much bigger reward outcome in the future.
If the young don’t think about future, and they only consider the needs comforts fun and solace in the present moment, then that can lead to a lot of impulsive and erroneous decisions which may jeopardize the realization of the dream. It is therefore necessary to see the future pilot in their mirror every morning and night. That’s where elders like us should act like a conjurer and expose them every day to the picture of the future pilot.
True intelligence and a rational mind demands that we act with a long-term mindset and fixation. Make them realize that they need to pay attention and realize how what they do today is going to ultimately decide where they are going to stand tomorrow. This would mean they have to abandon many small pleasures and wishes today so that they have much more to gain in the future.
This type of a dream setting can also be relevant for elders. Take for instance a newly married couple planning to buy a flat in the metro. If they are indeed well connected to the realization of this dream and if they see the picture of that flat every day, they will end up as spend thrifts. They will be concerned about their future and in the process would stop squandering and save more money.
Of course, this is the most sensible and reasonable thing. If you focus on your wants and needs in the future, you’re going to act prudently today. You will not dwell upon small things totally ignoring your future. If we concentrate on the long term awards we can surely reach there. We will make these future-oriented decisions the very purpose of life. It will make us feel more powerful and in perfect control over our lives.
The successful people are strongly connected to their future i.e. the image of glory they had portrayed in the past and what they dreamt. It is therefore a wonderful idea to offer the youth that kind of a dream so that they can start moving in that direction right away.
Living more focused on future
You could keep a constant watch on the youth you have chosen to help and teach them how to start better connecting themselves with their future goals. Prompt them for a periodical introspection as to how actions today are going to be beneficial in reaching where they shall be in the future .They should reevaluate behavioral objectives periodically and consider which behavioral objectives need to be modified, and if any should become habits. We all know Behavioral Objectives are stepping stones towards reaching our goals. An example would be waking up early morning. A habit is a behavior we build into the routine of our daily life. It takes consistency and willpower to build a habit, but once the behavior takes form as a habit, we then on do it automatically with minimal deliberation. Ensure the youth have a long-term mindset and capability to see the bigger picture. They have to synchronize their daily chores in tandem with those goals. They have to examine what are their possible circumstances during the course of life, which are the pastures they will walk through. The more one thinks and dwells upon a future; better equipped they become to face present hardships.
About the Author:
Jose Vazhuthanapilly, Bsc., LLB, DBM, CAIIB retired in 2008 as AGM from State Bank of India. He had worked as a visiting faculty in the Bank’s Staff Training Centers for 5 years. He is a writer with 20 books to his credit including 3 on self-help/psychology .He resides in Ernakulum, Kochi. He is active in the social service area.