back-stabbed by your friend

Have you recently learned that you have been back-stabbed by your friend? Heard she badmouthed about you in a vitriolic manner?

It is so hurtful when someone who you considered so trustworthy and loyal turned out the other way round. You get this cannonball of anger and betrayal inside you with an urge to just explode! And this is quite understandable, as you ponder where the values of trust and respect have disappeared.

Life does get all wishy-washy. So the best thing you can do is be the better and bigger person in such circumstances. Why stoop down? Here’s what you could do when you are betrayed by your BFF:

Instinctively I’m pretty sure you’d either want to approach directly, fight it out or rather than confrontation you might want to sit down and have a good mature talk. Honestly, it all comes down to the actions of the doer and what you feel is right. There is no “correct” method of rectification. If you feel the person has broken all boundaries of what a friendship stands for, then cutting that person from your life might be a good option. However, anything too drastic should be thought upon once.

 Think with a calm head.

Without a doubt, you must be infuriated to your core. But, once you settle down, that’s when you should take an action accordingly. When it comes down to your best friend, you might want to understand what made him/her do that. Normally, if someone is intimidated, jealous or has low self-esteem tends to act out this way. Well, certainly not your problem. That’s for them to figure out and also to make sure they do not repeat a similar pattern, set out the limits. Tell them directly that it’s not at all acceptable, unless they intend to improve and not backstab again.

 Listen to what he/she has to say.

Yes, for most of us temper will be lurking at the top of your head. But, as mentioned at the start of the article – be the bigger person. That works-in every aspect of life. Try to keep an open mind and listen what they have to say for their actions. It could either be a valid explanation for which she/he might apologize or maybe something you did that made him/her act this way. If it’s the latter, whatsoever their approach is still unacceptable. Nothing is better than a direct and honest approach. Let them know, if anything you have done has hurt them in any way, it is best to talk it out.

 Forgiveness.

This could be the hardest step for many people. But you know what, if you feel the person has come to terms to reality and accepted that they are at fault, promising not to ever hurt you. Then go ahead, give him/her a hug and get back to being the old pals you always were. But, if your moral compass stops you from doing so, then it is absolutely okay. It is solely your decision, and it doesn’t matter what anyone has to say, stick with it.

Just remember to never let it affect your personal and professional life negatively. Move ahead and keep your head high. Never lose your integrity and respect dos someone not worthy of it. Do what you think is best for you!

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