So you meet someone, and they end up with a job somewhere else. Maybe they are in the next town over, or maybe they are in another country. Maybe you were traveling and you fell in love but your partner lives on the other side of the world. If, for whatever reason, the person you are dating is not physically with you for most of your relationship, how do you make the long distance relationship work? The secret is not-so-secret, but successful execution is the difficult part.
So, what is the secret to making a long distance relationship work?
Communication! It is obvious. You need to keep talking. You need to make each other part of your lives even though you can’t physically be in each other’s lives a lot of the time. So how do you do it?
Update each other regularly. Even if one of you “does not like texting,” someone will need to adjust. You cannot keep a long distance relationship going unless you are updating each other on your lives. Depending on the couple, you may text just a few times a day, or you may talk constantly, always updating each other on every little thing that happens. Phone calls and Skype calls are very important, too. Hearing the other person’s voice and seeing them make you feel less far away. Where many long-distance relationships fail is when communication fails. If one person feels that they are not hearing from the other enough, it will cause problems. Communication is a huge part of trust. Knowing what the other person is doing and that you are on their mind makes you feel more comfortable with the fact that they may be out meeting new people and could potentially be interested in one of those new people.
You cannot make excuses. If one person is claiming that they work too much to be able to talk often, you both need to make some type of agreement and sacrifice of your time to be able to speak to one another. Even if you are in completely different time zones, someone may need to wake up early or stay up late to make sure you get a chance to catch up with each other. If the communication stops and you are not able to see each other, then what is left of the relationship?
Compromise is everything. If you are able to meet on a weekend trip, take turns flying to one another. Do not let one person make all the effort. Both people need to show that they want the relationship to work.
Make nice gestures. Send your partner a card with a sweet note in it so that he or she sees it when they get home from work. Send a bottle of wine, chocolates or flowers. Let them know that you are thinking of them by surprising them with little gifts to keep your interests within your relationship and make it seem more alive when you are far away.
Long distance relationships are really hard, but they can work if both people have the same goal in mind: to stay together. If you communicate, compromise, don’t make excuses, and perform nice gestures reminding them that you are thinking of them, you should be able to make it work. Just remember why you got together in the first place, and try to keep the spark alive, even when you are not able to spend physical time together.
Read More: Dating a Co-worker