Thanks to the exaggerated ideas of love and romance in movies and TV shows, our young children are in absolute awe of the thing called love, whether or not they understand it’s true meaning. And not just teenagers, nowadays you’d find tiny little toddler-sized children telling you they have a girlfriend/boyfriend. At that stage, you may disregard it as cute and adorable and treat it as a complete act of innocence; but once they start growing up into teens, your concerns for your children and their ‘love episodes’ grow manifold. What would you do if you found out your children are involved with older partners, sometimes people who are of your age? That could get tricky.
Daughters are beautiful!
Being parents of a daughter is a beautiful, and heavenly feeling. Nothing compares to the joy she brings to your world, and how she completes your life with her innocence and calm nature. But as she grows up, your concerns for her keep growing. You know how drastically children tend to change once they are teens, and you want to protect your daughter, especially from the bad, bad world! So you are worried because you suspect she is dating an older man? Probably you are right. Teenage girls tend to get more attracted to men who are much older than them, and it’s nothing abnormal, because they are a stage where they are still discovering their likes and dislikes.
Why is your daughter dating older men?
Teenagers generally prefer talking to their friends or siblings about this thing that they call love, and avoid or laugh the topic off in front of their parents, because they fear being misjudged or rebuked. As a parent, you should understand, it’s normal for your children to have flings at the tender age, but you also need to teach them how and where they should draw the line.
Your daughter may be dating the older guy because she finds boys of her age to be boring or immature or any other reason. Talk to her about it. Don’t treat it as a phase and let it pass. You never know what the intentions are. She could like him for his adulthood, his money, or strong understanding. It could also be due to the fact that she misses being cared for by you, or is missing out on a father-figure in her life.
What can you do?
Confront her only if your relation with her is close. She will talk to you only if you are open and frank to her. Do not be too strict or raise your hand. This may lead her into taking drastic steps or she could even get into depression. One concern that you’re bound to have is, if she is having sex with the guy. If possible, talk to her indirectly and ask her questions about him. Talk to her as a friend; for example, ask her, “so what’s the name of your sweetheart?”, “won’t you make him meet us?”, “we are there for you honey, are you in any problem?”.
Teenagers are rebels. And they run out of patience very easily. You’re the smarter one. Maintain a polite tone and ask your daughter about the reason of her, dating an older man. If you feel she is incorrect, correct her by giving examples about your own life. She’ll relate better. You may think talking to her could cause fights between you two, but don’t retreat your steps! No one will understand or guide your daughter better than you. After all, you are her family, and she is your world!
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